Announcing CertifiedToSUCK.com

Screen shot of the certifiedtosuck.com site

Screen shot of the certifiedtosuck.com siteYou might know of Certified to Rock, which reduces your activity on drupal.org to a single number, much as a long simmer reduces gourmet food to a carbonaceous layer that ruins the frying pan, and I really liked that pan!

Anyway, the problem with CTR is that it only measures how great you are, and some of us don’t take praise well. For we Drupalists of low self-esteem, now there’s Certified to SUCK! Here’s how it works.

  • Go to certifiedtosuck.com
  • enter your drupal.org username
  • click the button
  • wait for the meter to do some corny sprite-based animation
  • see your score
  • check out the scores of Drupalists you know
  • get angry that they have better scores than you
  • check your own score again, as if it’ll be different
  • write a long post about how bogus the whole thing is and about how people can’t be reduced to numbers, man.

Scores on CTS are calculated by… oh, never mind, it’s long and boring. The important thing is that it works and Must Be Obeyed. Void, like many things, in Idaho.

Hug me.

11 replies on “Announcing CertifiedToSUCK.com”

is it any louder?
your meter goes to eleven 🙂
you rock, or suck…whatever

This is a gem!
Popularity contests – especially weaselly ones masquerading as certification initiatives – deserve any lampooning that comes their way. I realise it must be unpleasant to be bullied mercilessly in the American school system, but there are surely better ways of repairing self-esteem than cooking up arcane algorithms to rub strangers’ noses in it.

Thanks, but you misunderstand!
I appreciate your praise — keep it coming — but CTR and CTS are really sisters under the skin, like Nicholas Cage and Justin Bieber. Where would we be without certifications? I got my first job — washing dishes, but a job nonetheless — because of my MCSE (Microsoft Certified Sucky Engineer). And there was no prouder day in my family when dear old Grandma was declared certifiably insane.

By Post Author

awesome
Please please don’t remove this after April 1 (maybe publish a list of who has specials? I found a number already, they are quite great.)

Now, chx…
I’m sure you could figure out how to grab a list of special cases by digging into the code. 😉

(It will stay up until I either get tired of paying for the domain or have some other good reason to take it down.)

By Post Author

I agree with the sentiments.
I agree with the sentiments. An opaque judgement process is not good for an open source community. Certified to rock is not only useless but harmful to us.

opaque by any other name
This comment from an opaquely anonymous user…

Please enlighten us why and how it’s harmful? When you do that be sure to compare it to a traditional certification program.

Love!!!
This is awesome, though I sure hope my suck score goes down this year 😉 …now for the CTS web badge

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